Throwback...

One year ago - today, I wrote the note that is posted below (and added a new thought for this year). What's amazing is just how evidently God reveals himself to me... Little did I know that 2 weeks after I wrote that note that I would get pregnant with the most amazing and beautiful girl I've ever seen. God certainly works in mysterious ways. To think that before that we didn't think that we'd ever be able to have a baby. For those who don't know -- I was diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) during my first year in college after having weird pains and some odd-unrelenting symptoms. Essentially, my ovaries were covered with cysts. Amazingly, after a trip to India where we worked in and orphanage -- God opened our hearts to the idea of adopting -- and about 2 weeks later-ish we conceived!!!! God is so good. So so good. And he worked in other ways too... he used others to help me land a job after I had lost mine months earlier. He provided us with a new place to live in Dixon. He provided me with incredible nurses as I went through the most agonizing pain I've ever experience -- labor. He blessed Wayne and I with a beautiful, perfect and healthy child that I have had the privilege of playing with, nursing, singing to, comforting and loving the heck out of. I am amazed with my life and cannot wait to see what happens next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Things change. I was laying in bed this morning and overcome with how many amazing things have happened in my life in so little time. In just six years my life is as I'd never imagined it.

Six years ago today, I was living in Folsom, California. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A precious and beloved child of God. And I was hungry for change.

I was in high school, working as a preschool teacher, dreaming of bigger and greater things, naive and carefree. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that California couldn't even give me. A terrible driver with an even worse sense of direction. I was a friend who was always there, a girlfriend who was always there, a daughter and a sister who was always there. I was a child who craved adulthood, graduation, and life change. So I moved and left it all behind.

Five years ago today, I was living in Searcy, Arkansas. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A precious and beloved child of God. And I was hungry for change.

I was in college, working towards a major and a future that I would change the world with, dreaming of bigger and greater things, a little more aware yet still carefree. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that no amount of freedom could give me. A thought filled wanderer with no planned directions. I was the best friend who was always there, the girl who always had a date, the daughter and a sister who missed her family. I was an adult who craved love, the outdoors, and the smell of pipe tobacco.

Four years ago today, I was still living in Searcy, Arkansas. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A precious and beloved child of God. And I was hungry for change.

I was in college still. No longer diligently working towards a major that I would change the world with. I was dreaming of bigger and greater things, entirely aware, yet still carefree. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that the walls of that University couldn't give me. A thought filled nomad with only one direction: away. I was the best friend who was always there, the girl who always had a date, the daughter and the sister who loved her family. I was an adult who craved change, respect, and someone to tell me that they desperately needed me to stay where I was. So I left it all behind.

Three years ago today, I was living in Folsom, California. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A precious and beloved child of God. And I was hungry for change.

I was back at home with my family. Diligently working at a popular coffee shop to earn my wages. I was dreaming of bigger and greater things, entirely aware, yet still care free. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that no walls could cage in. A thought filled romantic with one man on her mind. The best friend of a smaller amount of people, the girl who filled her life with joys and despairs of high school students, the daughter and the sister who dearly loved her family. I was an adult who craved change, a new town, and someone to get down one knee and tell me that he desperately needed me to stay with him forever. So I stayed.

Two year ago today, I was living in Vacaville, California. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A precious and beloved child of God. And I was hungry for change.

I was a married woman. Diligently working a law firm to earn my wages. I was dreaming of bigger and greater things, entirely aware, yet still care free. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that no office could cage in. A thought filled romantic with one man on her mind. The best friend to an even smaller amount of people, the girl who still filled her life with the joys and the despairs of high school students, and the daughter and the sister whose family had multiplied by two. I was a married woman who craved change, a house, and an occasional 'pat on the back'.

One year ago today, I was living in Dixon, California. I was confident and I knew who I was. I was a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A PRECIOUS AND BELOVED CHILD OF GOD. And I was hungry for change.

I was a happily married woman. Captivated and determined to carry out what God has laid on my heart. I was dreaming of bigger and greater things. More aware than ever. And caring... maybe not as carefree as I once was - but I was caring... and very much free. A silly girl with hopes and dreams that nobody can cage in. A thought filled idealist with ideas I couldn't even begin to sort out in a paragraph. The best friend to many amazing people, the girl who chooses everyday to fill her life with the joys and the despairs of high school students, and the daughter and the sister of a family who was my support beam. A leap of faith across the globe traveler who loveed many people that are so far away. I was a blessed woman, who craved change in God sized ways, a sheer and utter miracle relier, and who desperately wanted a little one to call me "Mommy".

Today, I am still living in Dixon, California. I am confident and I know who I am. I am a barefoot hippie with one flower over my ear. A PRECIOUS AND BELOVED CHILD OF GOD. And right now, I'm for lack of a better term... blown away..

I am a mommy. Enthralled and amazed by our beautiful baby. I am dreaming of bigger and greater things for her than I have ever had for myself. More aware than ever. Maybe not as carefree as I once was - but I am caring... just not as free... and I don't mind. A silly girl with hopes and dreams for her family that nobody can cage in. A loving mother and wife who will do anything for her husband and everything for her daughter. The best friend to some amazing people, and the girl who chooses everyday to fill her life with diaper changes, hubby snuggles, bed time prayers and baby kisses. The daughter and the sister to a family WHO HELPS HER keep her sanity. A breastfeeding, organic living, family firsting, homemaking mommy who is dependent on the God of love and grace, who has NO CLUE with what may happen next year - but eagerly awaits to find out.

"Oh God, you are my God... and I will forever praise you."

Love,
Liz